Political Correctness
How to Speak about Women and be Politically Correct!

She is not a BABE or a CHICK -
- She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE -
- She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK -
- She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She is not HALF NAKED -
- She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY -
- She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED -
- She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT -
- She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER -
- She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY -
- She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not TOO SKINNY -
- She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE -
- She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS -
- She is ATHLETICALLY UNAWARE.

She has not BEEN AROUND -
- She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME -
- She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED -
- She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY -
- She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.

She does not have a KILLER BODY -
- She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She does not GO SHOPPING -
- She is MALL FLUENT.

She is not an AIRHEAD -
- She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY -
- She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY -
- She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID -
- She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She is not HORNY -
- She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP -
- She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS -
- She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.

She does not NAG YOU -
- She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT -
- She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not LOOSE -
- She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -
- She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.